Chapter 89
Marcus.
I shook my head in disapproval. “No.”
It felt like that response wasn’t enough so I tried saying something more. “He was uh, he was meant to be here for the conference but he won’t be coming.”
“Hmm.”
The look on her face showed that she still felt uneasy talking about lan and well, I did
too.
I probably should address this because we both have something to say regarding what she had with Melissa but yet- whenever I try, I just stop. After all, I know my entire being isn’t ready.
In the back of my mind, I knew this may likely not work, and–my heart, and my brain they’re not ready for the truth.
“I uh, maybe I should just step out and unwind.”
I slipped my phone into my pocket and with keys in hand, I walked toward the door but she followed me and just before I could walk out, she leaned against the wall, one foot propped up against the wall. “Don’t you think there are better ways to unwind?
I knew exactly what she was saying and I’m glad that I could be here. I honestly wished it was me pressing her into the wall and taking advantage of her body but I don’t move.
I want this with Melissa but I’ve just acknowledged my feelings to her and I feel like I should let her digest it. I just want a moment to escape the vices whirling in my head. I don’t know how but I really just-
“Marcus,” she called and stepped closer, taking my shirt by the collar. “What are you thinking of?”
I wish I could tell her there are a lot of things I’m thinking of but I don’t think I’m prepared to do this. I already feel vulnerable around her and although it’s goddamn beautiful to feel like a baby around someone, I just can’t stop thinking.
What if we take a step forward with this thing we have?
I hate to think that I can’t even control my emotions and what’s terrifying is that I don’t know what to
“Are you going to tell me?”
expect.
Of course not. I just took a step closer to her and snagged my index finger under her chin. “Thank you Melissa think-”
“You don’t think you can have sex with me?” she asked with a frown. “I find it insulting that it’s the only
here for.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Do I?” she scoffed.
“Stop making everything about you,” I answered, unable to look her in the face.
but
I don’t
you think I’m
“Fine, it’s about you and I get it.” “I just want to be here for you, Marcus. If you let
me
at least.”
That’s the problem. I don’t know how to let anyone in and I can even think straight when it mind, she gave a nod.
1/3
comes to her. As if reading my
<3
18:06 Wed, Dec 18 G
Chapter 89
“I understand that you may not be used to opening up to a woman. I mean— you’ve only had Paul and Ian but you can trust me to be here. We don’t have to fuck, Marcus. I just want to know you–to understand you and–”
“I just can’t,” I blurted, moving her against the wall again. When her eyes darted to mine, I could see the pain brought by rejection in her eyes. “I’m sorry Melissa but I can’t talk to you. I can’t tell you how I’m feeling. How I’m frustrated that I can’t even take you and have you right now. I can’t tell you more than you already know. I really wish I could though.”
“Then forget the rest and let’s make your wishes come through, she answered again, stepping up to me.
“I still can’t.”
“Okay,” she blurted hastily and I raised my brow at her.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just sit with me, here on your bed. We don’t have to do anything or say anything.”
I paused because I was sincerely considering it. It would be better than going to one corner of the bar to unwind. I could just stay here and unwind.
“If you can at least consider that.”
I blew out a frustrated sigh and gave a nod. I saw a smile form on her face and I can’t lie–I think I needed to see her smile this way.
I stood there studying her. No words, just looking at her with my Adam’s apple bobbing. She turned back to the bed. She sat on the edge of the bed cross–legged and looked at me
Ishrugged and went to sit beside her. “This is what
you
want?”
“I want anything that would help you feel better.”
“Are you trying to fix me?” I asked her and her lips parted in slight shock.
“Not at all.”
“Great, ‘cause I’m not some damaged puppy who needs to be fixed.”
I didn’t let her respond before taking off my shirt and laying on the bed on my side. I do prefer lying in bed and looking at, the ceiling but no.
No more words were exchanged until she cleared her throat. “Do you need something? Maybe tea? Water? Juice?”
I do need something that I already had but couldn’t have. I don’t know how sensible that sounds but all I need is her and she’s right here but I just can’t have her in the way I need her.
“No, thank you.”
“Are you sure?” she asked with doubt and I scoffed. It was being difficult to keep my needs to myself and going against my word, I turned to face her. “Maybe not.”
“Hmm. I’ll help you. I’ll mention three things and you eliminate what
A game? Well, that didn’t sound bad.
“Okay?”
you
don’t want.”
She adjusted until she was sitting on the bed with her legs under the duvet. “The light, drink or-” She paused to swallow before finishing. “Or me.”
This was going to make it easier of course. “The light and drink
2/3
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18:06 Wed, Dec 18 G.
Chapter 89
“Does that… does that mean you–?”
3/3
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